Caminos by Scott Walker

Author:Scott Walker
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781771833134
Publisher: Guernica Editions
Published: 2018-10-10T16:00:00+00:00

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January 1942

Julia, Pilar and Mercedes were five years older, but otherwise the scene was the same. Julia was in labor on her parents’ bed. Pilar held her hand. Mercedes angrily assisted the birth.

“It’s a girl,” Mercedes said flatly. “I’m not raising this one for you.”

“I’d already decided, when Art left, that I’m giving it up for adoption,” Julia snapped.

It had been Julia’s longest relationship, even if it was often a blur of beer and whisky shots. Art always was non-committal about marriage, but he never ruled it out entirely. He occasionally said he loved her, unprompted. For Julia, that almost was as good as a proposal.

Then Pearl Harbor came. Art and nearly every other man under thirty in the town immediately volunteered for the fight. Julia’s brothers Manuel and Antonio followed Luis into the navy. Art chose the army instead.

He would not marry Julia before he left for basic training, as she hoped and pleaded, but Art was infuriated by her decision not to keep the baby. She had told him, at the roadhouse, at the end of his threeday leave before shipping out to England.

“But it’s my baby, too,” he shouted as they stood at the crowded bar in the roadhouse. “You can’t just give it away without my permission.”

“If you won’t marry me, I can do whatever I want with it,” Julia shouted back.

“Hey, you two,” the bartender yelled from the other end of the bar. “Pipe down or take it outside. Nobody wants to listen to your shit.”

“Sorry, Bill,” Art said to the bartender. He turned back to Julia. “If you do this,” he said, “we’re finished. I mean it, Julia.”

“That’s your choice, not mine,” she said, her voice full of spite. “You’re not leaving me a choice,” he said through clenched teeth. “What can I do?” Julia asked. She drained off the last of her beer.

“You won’t marry me. You’re running off to the war with the rest of the stupid men. I’m supposed to raise this kid on my own?”

“There will be lots of women on their own with their kids,” Art said. “For Christ’s sake, Julia, it’s a world war. Why don’t you try not to be so self-centered for once.”

“Why don’t you go fuck yourself,” Julia shouted. “Don’t worry, Bill,” she added quickly to the bartender, who was glaring again in their direction. “I’m leaving.” She took some coins from her purse and slammed them on the bar. “And give the soldier here a beer and a bump on me.”

Halfway home, Julia sat down on the curb and bawled. It was so unfair. She wanted so little, just a man to love her and to want a home and family with her. She did not even care if they had a house; a little apartment in Clarksburg would suffice. He simply needed to care about her. Was that so much to ask? Was she so unlovable and difficult that no man could give her such a basic, normal thing?

After she cried out the pain to a tolerable level, Julia stood up from the curb.

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